Well, well, well. A new year. I can’t believe it’s really 2008. Only question I have is.. um, where are the flying cars?? Heh. With the start of a new year, I always get excited and expect new things! I set goals for myself, I say that I will achieve certain things by a certain point of the year, etc. Well, this year, I didn’t really set any goals for myself. I did however make one huge decision in my life for the New Year: I decided to let go of things I held on to.
First, I decided that it wouldn’t bother me when I see my ex gf walking around and ignoring me like I never happened. I figure, she has her reasons for not even saying hello now that we have nothing going on. Or maybe she hates me. I dunno. Either way, I said it wouldn’t bother me. I'll still go and get my hair cut at her mom's salon and all because her mom is off the hook.
Second, I decided that I didn’t need to keep the other ex around anymore. My issues with my other ex are way too long to discuss... but basically, it came down to this: I don’t want anything to do with her. I have learned that she is a selfish person and only cares about herself, so why put myself through that? Well, true, we're not "together"... but we did go out for 1.5 years. And even though it could work out if there was effort, Id rather not. I’ve learned that her fear of growing up and making decisions on her own always teach her things the hard way. When she learns the hard way, she'll eventually talk to me. As for now, I told her I want nothing to do with her. I don’t care for friendship, phone calls, "happy new years" or "merry Christmas" and stuff... I don’t want gifts, e-mails, or cards. Nothing, zip, zero, zilch, NADA. Yes, I come off as a jerk, but you know what? She taught me the hard way that I need to love myself first before loving anyone else. I will never lover her again without loving myself. And since I need to take care of myself now, I choose to let that fly by. I mean, seriously, who are you kidding? Still friends with your ex of 1.5 years?? No. Not with her. She’s too interested in herself.
So, as I lay these past issues with previous emotional adventures, I look on to a new future. I’ve decided to let things go. Anything that has bothered me in the past will bother me no more. Anyone that hurt me in the past, out of mind. Why hold on to old feelings, grudges, confusions, sadness, emotions? Ya know?
That was my only New Year’s resolution.
Only, I think I screwed it up.
I didn’t want to call my ex gf on New Year’s Eve or anything... only thing is, I had my cell phone in my pocket and I didn’t lock the key pad. Later, when I checked it, I saw that her number was dialed on accident. So yah. There you go. I didn’t call her, but I know there is a call logged to her cell phone on that night. I wonder what she thought if she picked it up... or maybe she didn’t pick it up.
I should probably stop talking about her. She hated it that I never talked about her at first, now she hates it when I talk about her. Women. Go figure.
I brought in the New Year very, very interestingly enough by meeting a girl. Ironic, no? It was all unintentional and well... yah. But like all these things go, we'll just wait and see what happens. I was getting VERY comfortable with the idea of being single... and I dunno if I want to let that go yet.
There. Happy New Year guys!!!!!
