So, last night, I decided to rent a movie. I went with a romantic comedy because I'm a sap like that. I rented "Someone Like You" with Ashley Judd, Greg Kinnear, Hugh Jackman, etc. The movie was great. It was all the sappy romance I could have expected from it. It leaves you with that warm, tingly feeling inside. It was definitely worth my 15 pesos... but I digress.
What I gathered from watching this movie, from watching other movies like it, from shows like Oprah, and from everyday life is the following: It is easier for women to have and create a support system amongst themselves.
Why? Simple. Men don't obviously touch often the area of their brains that has to do with expressing themselves, or so we're led to believe. Consequently, I've been wondering my whole life why the heck it's easier for me to talk to a woman about something I'm feeling or going through than. say, my best male bud. Shoot, I can even talk to my youth pastor. Okay, so he's older and a family man and probably more in tune to REALITY than most others, but still.
So, why do we get fed this mumbo jumbo? And, more importantly, does it set men up for the mentality that only women are "the great communicators" while we're still stuck in our caveman days when it comes to self expression?
Let me expand.
About a month ago, my best male bud started dating this girl. Now, he and I differ when it comes to the opposite sex, being that I usually play the "hopeless romantic" role while he perfects the "player" role. Nothing wrong with that, right? Sure... except when it came time for cupid to shoot him one. So, he meets a chick that he's *swooning* over. He's smooth and tries to play it off, but I could smell it from a mile away. After a while, they broke up. The reason still remains undisclosed to me to this day. He disappears for a while, goes into what I like to call "incognito status". I understand. I mean, he's probably heart broken. So, I called the guy, wondering about him. A few times. Nothing. Okay. So, a week passed, and when I finally saw him, I started asking him what's up, and he gets defensive about it.
"Look," I said. "I was just worried about you, man. I know she got to you, and I know you were all about her."
His reply was:
"WHAT?!?! Man, chill out. You think that just because every time you meet a great girl, you go all out that Im just like you?"
OUCH.
So, after that, I didn't talk to the guy for a bit. After a while, he asked me why I looked like I was pissed off every time we saw each other. I took a deep breath and just told him everything: I actually was worried about the guy because I've been there in his shoes. I wasn't trying to pry into his business or get all up in the kool-aid mix. I told him that no matter what happened between him and I as friends, I would never take a personal shot at him the way he did to me.
To this he said, "My bad."
And that's it. We're cool. It's in the past.
As men, we all understand each other. That's why we don't have to go in the bathroom and gossip. Shoot, we go in the bathroom and give the other guy a quick nod and go about our business. Anything further than that would be "questionable". We know what's going on. We know how things work. But sometimes, YES, we are stubborn and don't care to elaborate when it comes to feelings. Do we have to get into everything? It's bad enough everything in life comes with instruction manuals except life itself. So, why explain ourselves?
The best heart-to-heart convos I've shared with a best male bud or another guy are usually over a few drinks, during "girl problems", or curiously enough, on road trips. Hmmmm.
What I gathered from watching this movie, from watching other movies like it, from shows like Oprah, and from everyday life is the following: It is easier for women to have and create a support system amongst themselves.
Why? Simple. Men don't obviously touch often the area of their brains that has to do with expressing themselves, or so we're led to believe. Consequently, I've been wondering my whole life why the heck it's easier for me to talk to a woman about something I'm feeling or going through than. say, my best male bud. Shoot, I can even talk to my youth pastor. Okay, so he's older and a family man and probably more in tune to REALITY than most others, but still.
So, why do we get fed this mumbo jumbo? And, more importantly, does it set men up for the mentality that only women are "the great communicators" while we're still stuck in our caveman days when it comes to self expression?
Let me expand.
About a month ago, my best male bud started dating this girl. Now, he and I differ when it comes to the opposite sex, being that I usually play the "hopeless romantic" role while he perfects the "player" role. Nothing wrong with that, right? Sure... except when it came time for cupid to shoot him one. So, he meets a chick that he's *swooning* over. He's smooth and tries to play it off, but I could smell it from a mile away. After a while, they broke up. The reason still remains undisclosed to me to this day. He disappears for a while, goes into what I like to call "incognito status". I understand. I mean, he's probably heart broken. So, I called the guy, wondering about him. A few times. Nothing. Okay. So, a week passed, and when I finally saw him, I started asking him what's up, and he gets defensive about it.
"Look," I said. "I was just worried about you, man. I know she got to you, and I know you were all about her."
His reply was:
"WHAT?!?! Man, chill out. You think that just because every time you meet a great girl, you go all out that Im just like you?"
OUCH.
So, after that, I didn't talk to the guy for a bit. After a while, he asked me why I looked like I was pissed off every time we saw each other. I took a deep breath and just told him everything: I actually was worried about the guy because I've been there in his shoes. I wasn't trying to pry into his business or get all up in the kool-aid mix. I told him that no matter what happened between him and I as friends, I would never take a personal shot at him the way he did to me.
To this he said, "My bad."
And that's it. We're cool. It's in the past.
As men, we all understand each other. That's why we don't have to go in the bathroom and gossip. Shoot, we go in the bathroom and give the other guy a quick nod and go about our business. Anything further than that would be "questionable". We know what's going on. We know how things work. But sometimes, YES, we are stubborn and don't care to elaborate when it comes to feelings. Do we have to get into everything? It's bad enough everything in life comes with instruction manuals except life itself. So, why explain ourselves?
The best heart-to-heart convos I've shared with a best male bud or another guy are usually over a few drinks, during "girl problems", or curiously enough, on road trips. Hmmmm.
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