Friday, November 30, 2007

WHY YOU SHOULD NOT ANSWER ”PRIVATE NUMBER CALLING"


*bring bring....bring bring....bring bring*

Me: Hmm... *answers phone* hello?
Girl: Hi, do you remember me?
Me: Give me a name and I might do.
Girl: Don't you remember? It's me Nicola.
Me: *Quick scan of memory, and I only know one Nicola. Likelihood of her calling me is slim* I'm sorry, you'll have to give me some help here. Where did we meet?
Girl: The works...
Me: *Never been to anywhere called “the works.” Prank call or wrong number* Sorry luv, you got the wrong number.
Girl: I got something to tell you, I wasn’t entirely truthful when we met, and I might have warped the truth a little...
Me: ......
Girl: I'm not 18, I'm actually 14. Is that okay?
Me: Girl, you have the wrong number.
Girl: Can we meet again, please?
Me: Wrong number, girl. Bye.
Girl: Please! I'll give you head!
Me *click*

Mates: Who was that?
Me: Just a ho.

Prank call? Possibly. But the likelihood of choosing my number? Rather slim.

The truth? I've been out 3 times in the past month, twice I was sober, once I was pissed outta my head and was barely able to comprehend how I had hands let alone try to pull.

Best guess? A mate by the name of Mark who is notorious for sleeping with anything. Chatted her up, got off with her, found out she was 14, and decided to palm my number. You bastard!!



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