Secret Hiding Place.

It's nice to hide under that rock. You're right. It's a lot easier to walk around showing the world what they want to see. That's right.. smile. Smile at them. And under your breath you cry out for them to touch your soul... but I like that rock. That rock is my hiding place. No one knows which rock to lift for me to come out from under it. But YOU did... oh yeah, you let me see the light of a smile. Happiness rushes at me in a single second and takes me to a euphoric dream. Sadness cuts me down and throws me under my rock. Back to where I've come from. I get mad. Then I get sad. Then I let my brain pretend that it is thinking. Hah! I can fool it. Sure I can. Watch me.. watch me let the heart take the wheel and drive. I cruise from your ankle to your neck with my windows rolled down and the radio plays some random song from the '90s that makes me remember the afternoons that I spent listening to the radio at my grandma's house.... I get to your eyes and they speak so loudly that I tell them to blink and let the tears come out. I cannot control my head anymore. It takes over with engaging theories and captures my attention and my heart hurts because it cannot offer more than that first breath of air you inhale when you wake up... it's like being in paradise.... but being blind.

Dammit. Fuckin. Why? Do you not understand that harmonious melodies are made using the treble cleff and the bass cleff? My brain thinks too much. And my heart feels too much. They play out the scene from "Braveheart" when the two armies collide in an angry fight for rights to rule. One tells my legs to walk over to what I think is you... the other tells my legs that there is nothing under me to hold my steps while I walk to the glory that is you. I'm so close.. I'm so damn close... I can see it, I can feel it, and I can touch it... and the ground gives way to an ocean under it. I fall in, sinking deep into my bed... deeper and deeper under my covers I go. I look up and open one eye and I can see through the water that there is light above.

I shake my head and focus again... and now I see outside my window that the rain has just started to fall.